this is (not) kimbila

I have a confession to make. My name isn’t Kimbila.

Kimbila was my former monk’s name. I used to be a monk several years ago, and then I disrobed. With a little time in between, I’m back on the monastic path again and staying at my old Buddhist monastery called ‘Bodhinyana’ in Serpentine, Western Australia.

I guess I’ve realised that once the Dhamma has entered your bones, there really is no turning away from it. You can try, like I did for a while, but you come back.

It’s got that quality about it, the Dhamma. I remember hearing it for the first time and I think it’s a familiar feeling with many people I talk to that are on the same path; it’s like you’re hearing a message that feels familiar. It’s a kind of coming home, like returning into the arms of a loving mother after being away too long. It calls to live another way, a blessed way based on being good and kind in this world, and cultivating the mind so one may see the truth of things and understand a way through the difficulties of life. I’m writing this blog to share my experiences on that journey.

The Buddha spoke of kalyāna mitta, beautiful friendship, as being the whole of the path. The spiritual path is sometimes rendered as a path of solitude, which can be tempting to introverts or even those wishing to shy away from our sometimes messy human interactions. There are definitely times for solitude, but one cannot walk this path alone. We need friends, as they help strengthen our resolve as we harness the momentum of collective practice that is happening not just now with the people in our present community, but with all those practitioners that echo through the ages, right back to the Buddha himself.

I’m very lucky to be where I am at the moment. I live with a very unique man named Ajahn Brahm. Alongside the Buddha, he’s my teacher. I admire Ajahn in many ways, as he embodies the Buddha’s teachings. It’s wonderful when you can live with and be near someone who is like that. You can learn a lot simply from watching the way that they interact with the world around them, there is a freedom and grace, strengthened by sīla and clarified by samādhi. This has a magnetic affect on the people around Ajahn as well. You can’t help but be a disciple when you see someone like that, there is an irresistible, magnetic quality to his person, and it makes one want to be a better human being, indeed it gives you faith that you can.

I’m also blessed with many friends in this life. These are people I have met on the path, and we share this amazing thing in common, we share a fascination in, and a love of, the Dhamma, and we are all just kooky enough to try it. I have close friends who have similar struggles to mine, and have helped me pick myself up again when I’ve been low or jaded on this path, and I’ve done the same for them in kind, and we help remind each other that the Buddha wants us to be happy. These are beyond ordinary friendships. It’s like we have a liminal knowing that exists in between the words of an unspoken language, and it gives confidence and purpose to our actions, helps us become whole. This meaning runs deep. It’s in the fabric of every moment, because our minds are with us always, and even though at times that can seem confronting, freaky, even overwhelming, we learn to soften and expand into it and smile as we grow, knowing that we are good people and becoming well, and that we have the best of people around us and are truly blessed.

I hope you’ll join me in these writings, and we can explore this mind, and this life, together.

• Peace.